You know that’s a bike, right?
I’m pedaling down Yucca, a street I chose specifically because it’s so wide I practically have a lane to myself. Just past the Capitol Records building I roll by a black Ford Explorer with a THRASHER sticker over 30% of the rear windshield. The passenger side window squeaks down.
“Get out of the way!”
I look quickly right to make sure I’m not about to be taken out by a loose Dumpster rolling out of the 7-Eleven parking lot. Surely they can’t be talking to me as I’m a good half-lane away from—
“Get the fuck out of the road!”
I know this is directed at me because at this point I’m exactly even with the Explorer. Three guys. And what is that they’re listening to…311?
“You know that’s a bike, right?”
I did indeed.
I thought hard about what to say back to them. I really did. I even did a quick mental inventory of my backpack to see what I might be able to lob at their car. But by the time I decided it would be relatively easy to pop the lid off my ceramic water bottle and douse them (or toss the whole thing and try to crack their windshield), it didn’t really matter.
You see, they were stuck in traffic, and I had already made the next light.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:23 am
This car regularly parks overnight on ivar (the portion between yucca and franklin) - most of the times rather poorly. i’m just saying.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:35 am
I knew it! They’re, like, totally extreme.
March 31st, 2008 at 10:16 am
Found your post via Curbed LA’s link love and as someone who bike commutes about 28 miles every day, I HATE reading about incidents like this. Props and kudos for handling such chickenshit tardishness very nicely. Me, I’m not nearly as coolheaded as you and would’ve escalated the rhetoric. But then again, I’m 6′2″ 220 and nowhere near as friendly looking as you so chances are they’d have been smart enough kept their stupidity to themselves.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I always think it’s a bit stupid when people in cars try to pick fights with cyclists. Unless the driver wants to spend the rest of their life in jail after they kill you, if they really want to confront you, they’re going to have to get into a fight with a adrenaline pumped bike jock who’s probably got the leg muscles (and the carbon fiber soled shoes) to reduce them to tears after you emasculate them.
March 31st, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Yell out nonsequitors as fast as they come to mind. This is your chance to free associate in real time, without the mental prep of a poetry slam or beatnik get together.
“Get a real car, Connie Chung!”
“You know you’re all douchebags, right?”
“Vrrooom Vrooooooommmm!” as you coast by them.
“Coooll-ehhhhh-toh!” (call them an asshole in spanish).
“You stopped raping kids yet?” or “Pederasts! Pederasts!”
March 31st, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Marshall: I only wish the real world operated the way you describe it. Unfortunately, when a motorist kills a bicyclist in the U.S., they are very seldom charged with anything, much less murder. We are considered collateral damage, the underlying assumption being that we were asking for it by using the road. Check the recent story on several bay area cyclists who were killed when a driver fell asleep at the wheel. It is a perfect example of the attitude that our culture has towards cyclists.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:13 pm
When you are out on your bike, you should carry an acrylic painted egg. It will last for years, it gets better with age and it is easy to throw. Like you experienced it is easy to get away if your timing is right.
Oh, and be careful out there!! Someone may love you….
April 1st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
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