As many of you know, for the last 16 months I’ve managed to exist in Los Angeles without owning an automobile. For the most part I’ve tolerated this major inconvenience with nary a complaint. Pedaling my one-speed bike over vast expanses of steaming asphalt. Forced to stand on the train for lack of seats. Shivering alone in silence as I wait at bus stops in the pouring rain.

The unfortunate incident over the weekend was only the latest setback in a year-and-a-half battle to survive without a car in LA. Little did I know, just as I thought I was doing good, I was actually harming my fellow citizens.

My eyes were opened after reading about the negative experiences some of Curbed LA’s commenters have had with bikers on the road. Someone named ‘guest’ had a great point. “Biker bashing? sign me up. I can’t stand the ones that run stop signs.” Another person mentioned bikers “bizarrely turning left from the left turn lane, taking up whole lanes of traffic (for just one slow moving cyclist not trying to sweat too hard on the way to work).” Sounds awful.

But the most poignant comment was by ‘guest’: “Cyclists need to be taunted. Anything to give them an incentive to use a more grown-up and less self-righteous means of transportation helps.”

I can’t believe I was so selfish to never stop and consider that I could actually be ruining other people’s lives by not having a car, but it’s true. I’ve never felt so immature and self-righteous in my life! Also, it’s totally wrecking my shoes.

So this morning I went over to Toyota of Hollywood to buy a Prius. But they were all out, so I tried to get the next most fuel-efficient car, the Yaris. But I really didn’t like the color they had; I had a blue car when I was a teenager, okay? The Camry wasn’t really for me. I thought the Matrix was cool until I test-drove it and it handled like a golf cart with one flat tire. Wasn’t feeling the Corolla. The Avalon? What am I, 40? So I settled on a silver 2008 Toyota 4Runner. With the fold-down third-row bench, it can seat seven, so the way I see it, that’s six people I can keep from riding bikes every time I drive it.

I know some of you out there might be a little surprised at my decision. But deep in my heart, I know this is the right choice for my fellow commuters, and, more importantly, for myself.

Update: I feel like I have to add something to this story since so many people have emailed me (some of them congratulating me, which is bizarre), but I am pretty sure that if I ever decided to buy a car it certainly wouldn’t be an SUV purchased on April Fool’s Day.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 1:54 pm and is filed under advertising, partying, traveling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.