Waxen empire Crayola announced eight new colors this week. But unlike the last spectrum shift in 2003, the colors themselves didn’t change, just the names did. 20,000 kids were asked to pick new names for the eight colors as Kids’ Choice Colors. If this information is to be believed, kids today have absolutely no idea what colors are actually named:

Screamin’ Green = Giving Tree
Laser Lemon = Super Happy
Wild Watermelon = Awesome
Vivid Tangerine = Fun in the Sun
Turquoise Blue = Happy Ever After
Hot Magenta = Famous
Orchid = Best Friends
Beaver = Bear Hug

Now I know what you’re thinking…they’re trading Beaver for Bear Hugs? But according to Crayola, the kids had very good reasons for doing what they did: “A collection of eight colors was created that draw on everything from kids wanting to play their part in protecting the planet to believing that they can become famous just like the everyday people who achieve stardom on reality shows.” Hey could you pass the Famous? I gotta color in Perez Hilton’s hair.

You, too, can achieve stardom on a reality shows or review the entire Crayola chronology and see where things started to go painfully wrong. Like with Purple Mountain’s Majesty in 1990. Now. I ask you: Do you really think a Bear Hug would have inspired a performance like this one in 1981? I think not. This performance was 100% Raw Umber:

This entry was posted on Friday, April 11, 2008 at 2:45 pm and is filed under crafting, creating, watching. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.