I think this building should be condemned. There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it’s completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
At 1:40 p.m., at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free-floating, full-torso, vaporous apparition! It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off of some poor librarian!
Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Who’s the stiff?
No! Nobody ever built them like this! The architect was either an authentic wacko or a certified genius. The whole building is like a huge antenna for pulling in and concentrating psychokinetic energy.
Let me in, let me in, somebody let me in!
Wait for the sign, then all prisoners will be released! You will perish in flames!
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we’ve been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave?
If I’m wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail! Peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it! But if I’m right, and we can stop this thing…Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
