What is probably my most favorite article [PDF] I’ve ever written was published in the LA Times on the same day I took a flight home to St. Louis. I waltzed from vendor to vendor in the American Airlines terminal, pausing to admire the various shelving systems upon which the LA Times was displayed. While all my copies of the piece were filed like federal documents in my carry-on, it was amazing to see hundreds more copies stacked haphazardly under countertops, spilling onto the floor, awaiting their readers. After I took my seat in the waiting area I squirmed with delight as the man across from me opened the Calendar section and totally read my piece! But that was nothing compared to the swelling of my chest a few minutes later when he got up and threw it away!

It’s an awesome feeling to know your words are so widely distributed that they’ve become, well, disposable.

Such is the humbling nature of today, when I have four pieces published in the LA Weekly’s annual People issue. Except that the LA Weekly is free. It’s so free that for the next week, LA Weeklys will fall over the city like a light dusting of snow. My stories will be abandoned on bus seats, stuffed between Champagne flutes in moving boxes, wrapped around a dozen pink tulips at the farmers’ market.

So think of me sporting this wide, goofy grin when you come cross an LA Weekly this week. But before you use it to Windex your car windshield, be sure to read my pieces on Mathew Cullen and Javier Jimenez of Motion Theory; Ben Goldhirsh of GOOD; Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of various Awesome Shows, Great Job; and Jonathan Wells of Flux.

And please recycle.

Even though I’m stuck inside playing a neverending game of Tetris with my possessions, it just got triumphantly sunny and warm after a few too many days of early-onset May Gray. And since I’m packing up for a few months away, I kind of feel like I’m going to camp. And that means one thing: Summer is here!

Long, long ago, before Jabba glamorized the hookah and live frog-eating craze, Star Wars PSAs tried to educate my generation about the evils of smoking and drinking. Carrie Fisher was originally cast in this drinking and driving ad but she showed up on set too drunk to shoot the spot. And just because R2-D2 needs a menthol Kool to soothe his circuits after a long day at work doesn’t mean you should smoke (never mind that C-3PO is operating what sounds like an electronic water bong).

Thanks to Luke Walker. Really.

It’s been a weird few days here in Gelatobabyland. On the anniversary of the 1906 earthquake, I’m sitting here in San Francisco hearing about a 5.2 earthquake in St. Louis this morning from my family and friends. A last-minute quickie trip for work ended up being just the creative shake up I needed, but I’m heading back home to some sad news in LA. And for some reason this week I’m having a few more than the usual amount of groundbreaking epiphanies about the future.

So by request, a reminder that tomorrow will bring a little more sunshine, the company of good friends, or—at the very least—a Saturday.

Waxen empire Crayola announced eight new colors this week. But unlike the last spectrum shift in 2003, the colors themselves didn’t change, just the names did. 20,000 kids were asked to pick new names for the eight colors as Kids’ Choice Colors. If this information is to be believed, kids today have absolutely no idea what colors are actually named:

Screamin’ Green = Giving Tree
Laser Lemon = Super Happy
Wild Watermelon = Awesome
Vivid Tangerine = Fun in the Sun
Turquoise Blue = Happy Ever After
Hot Magenta = Famous
Orchid = Best Friends
Beaver = Bear Hug

Now I know what you’re thinking…they’re trading Beaver for Bear Hugs? But according to Crayola, the kids had very good reasons for doing what they did: “A collection of eight colors was created that draw on everything from kids wanting to play their part in protecting the planet to believing that they can become famous just like the everyday people who achieve stardom on reality shows.” Hey could you pass the Famous? I gotta color in Perez Hilton’s hair.

You, too, can achieve stardom on a reality shows or review the entire Crayola chronology and see where things started to go painfully wrong. Like with Purple Mountain’s Majesty in 1990. Now. I ask you: Do you really think a Bear Hug would have inspired a performance like this one in 1981? I think not. This performance was 100% Raw Umber: